


Extraterrestrial

by guineabees



Category: South Park
Genre: Aliens, Awkward introductions, Just general awkwardness all around really, M/M, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 02:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8603992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guineabees/pseuds/guineabees
Summary: Craig and the gang see something fall out of the sky and get more than they bargained for when they decide to investigate. The alien!Tweek AU fic that nobody asked for.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I just wrote this because I was stressed out from a tough week with coursework and wanted to write something without any pressure. Also, I thought it was a cute idea.
> 
> I know I have two multi-chapter fics to update (and a homestuck one I started but haven't posted yet because I hate myself enough to take on three multi-chapter fics at once apparently) and I am working on them, but I put pressure on myself to live up to previous chapters with those so I wanted to work on something different after the week I had.
> 
> The boys are about seventeen in this. Also Tweek's 'markings' are pretty much like the paint he wears in Stick of Truth, they're just a different shade and colour.

There were a lot of things Craig and his friends had planned for their fortnightly sleepover at Token’s, but walking through the woods in their pyjamas at two am with only one flashlight between them had never been part of the agenda.

“This is officially the stupidest thing we’ve ever done,” Craig pipes up from the back of the group, rubbing his arm in an attempt to stay warm and watching to make sure Jimmy doesn’t get one of his crutches caught on one of the winding, snake-like roots that twist through the uneven ground below them.

The others are too focused on their search to respond and too afraid to make too much noise to respond. Craig is oblivious to the mood and continues to complain in his normal, flat voice, not bothering to adjust his volume.

“Oh, look, a burning object just came falling out of the sky and crash landed in that forest over there. Should we call the authorities and let them deal with it? No, let’s just fucking wander into the woods with no weapons or adult supervision whatsoever and go looking for it, that’s a way better idea,” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

Token rolls his eyes and lets out a resigned sigh as he takes in everything he has to deal with. Between Clyde refusing to go back no matter what despite being completely on edge, Jimmy insisting on holding their only source of light and then not shining it in the right direction and Craig complaining, he was starting to think he should be getting paid for this.

“Craig, can we not do this right now?” he questions in a quiet but harsh tone. “We’re just going to see what it was and then we’re going straight back to my house. It’s no big deal.”

“Yeah dude where’s your sense of adventure?” Clyde teases.

“I left it in Peru years ago,” Craig mumbles as he ducks under a branch. “And for the record this is a textbook example of what Marsh and those other assholes would be doing right now in this situation.”

Token stops abruptly, causing Clyde and Jimmy to stumble into his back a little. “That’s a low blow,” he admits.

“Aren’t you guys sick of them having all the fun though?” Clyde asks turning to face the taller boy. “I mean maybe it’s our turn to do something reckless for once.”

“I h-have t-to agree with Clyde,” Jimmy adds. “I mean c-come on, we saw a genuine UFO.”

“A UFO is just an ‘Unidentified Flying Object’, it could be anything as long as it’s flying and we don’t know what it is,” Craig explains exasperatedly. “It could have just been part of a plane or someone setting off a dodgy firework as far as we know and here we are, searching the woods for it in our pyjamas like a bunch of idiots.”

Clyde ignores Craig’s complaints, knowing he’s still going to follow them anyway. “Jimmy’s right, Craig. this is exciting!” he exclaims, grinning enthusiastically. “And there’s still a chance it might be something from space. You’re interested in all that space shit right?” he offers.

Craig perks up slightly at that, remembering why he even agreed to leave the warmth of Token’s fancy underfloor heating and expensive blankets in the first place. “Yeah, I guess it would be cool if it actually was something from space,” he admits. “But the chances of that are really fucking slim.”

“I bet you want to find out what this is just as much as the rest of us do,” Clyde states, “so just try to go along with this and I promise we will try not to drag you out on any more bizarre expeditions ever again.”

“Fine,” Craig concedes with a resigned sigh, unable to say no to his best friend.

Clyde’s triumphant smile is short lived when a twig snaps in the distance. He lets out a loud yelp and immediately latches onto Token’s shoulder. “What was that?!” he whispers harshly in Tokens ear. Token shakes his head and brushes Clyde off of him, assuring him it was probably just a bird or something and they begin walking again.

“How far away did this thing land?” Craig asks.

“It shouldn’t be too far away now,” Token says, “We should be seeing signs of it any sec-”

His sentence trails off as they catch sight of a bright green glow in the distance. Their eyes are fixated on it as they move forward, going at a slightly slower pace than before. As they get closer, they start to notice soft wisps of green light floating in the air, illuminating the forest around them. Jimmy turns off the flashlight and hands it back to Token as discreetly as possible.

Nobody speaks for a while, they’re all too captivated by the spot in the distance where this strange light radiates stronger than anywhere else. For some reason talking feels inappropriate and silence falls over the group as they approach it. It’s only broken when they hear a loud yell from the area they’re approaching followed by an earth shaking crash.

Clyde immediately turns around and starts walking away. “Ok that’s enough adventure for today, I’ll see you guys in school on Monday,” he says shakily.

Thev’ye come this far already and Craig is actually starting to want to see what it is now, so he isn’t above being a bit of an asshole. “Ok, have fun walking back through the forest,” he says casually. “You remember the way, right?”

Clyde takes one look at the dense, dark expanse of woods in front of him and lets out a loud groan. “Goddammit,” he mumbles, rejoining the group and latching onto Craig’s sleeve for good measure. Craig decides he’s been enough of an asshole for now and allows Clyde to stay there.

It feels like they’re walking for at least fifteen minutes before they finally see some sign of a crash landing and even then it’s only fallen trees. “Where the hell is this thing?” Token mutters. It’s rhetorical more than anything and the most he gets in reply is a hum of agreement.

Jimmy turns slightly to address the group. “Before we get there I just w-want you guys to know that if we d-die tonight that I consider you my f-f-fam… my f-fa... my famil-”

The rest of his confession is cut off as Token’s arm jerks out in front of him, stopping him from walking any further. Clyde and Craig stumble to a stop behind him and they all peer over Token’s shoulders to see what caused him to halt everyone so suddenly. A few metres in front of them, the ground suddenly drops into a shallow ditch, not deep enough to cause any injuries, but definitely deep enough to hurt if someone fell into it. Token gestures for them to proceed with caution and they carefully step down into it, Token going first and Craig going last so he can help Jimmy and push Clyde if necessary.

“Look at that,” Token whispers, pointing at something up ahead. 

The boys’ eyes widen as they catch sight of what appears to be some kind of one-person space ship. The front of it has been completely crumpled, pretty much destroyed upon impact and a tree is lying on top of it, but they can tell it isn’t any kind of human technology from the fact that it’s emitting the same light they saw in the forest. They continue to watch in stunned silence and Craig feels Clyde’s grip on his arm again as a humanoid figure appears from behind the wreckage and stands in front of the collapsed tree, crossing their arms and placing a hand on their chin as they figure out what to do about it.

It looks like this is a normal person at first glance, but a closer look reveals that they’re wearing hardly anything apart from black trousers and a strap around their waist that holds what looks like some kind of gun, which may as well be nothing in the middle of a South Park winter. Also they’re quite literally glowing.

Strange, triangle-like markings on their body emit a gentle green glow to match the one that is being given off by the aircraft. Their hair is a wild, untamable blond mess, sticking up in all different directions and it’s not clear whether that’s a result of the crash or their regular look. They seem too preoccupied with staring at the tree and scratching their chin to notice the four boys staring at them and the boys hesitate, not sure whether to try to talk to this alien or retreat back to the safety of the trees. 

They’re interrupted from their internal dilemma, however, when the alien suddenly lifts the entire tree and launches it off to the side with a shout, the resulting crash causing the ground to shake beneath their feet. At least now they know what those noises were about earlier.

“Holy shit!” Clyde exclaims loudly before clamping his hands over his mouth with a look of panic. It’s too little too late though because the alien’s markings momentarily flash brighter, his posture stiffens and he turns on them before they can even blink, the weird gun from his belt drawn on them and shaking slightly in his grasp.

The boys immediately raise their hands in surrender, trying desperately to make their body language as unthreatening as possible. It seems to work because the alien lowers his gun slowly and places it back in his belt before running his hands through his hair and mumbling something foreign. The boys breathe a collective sigh of relief and lower their arms again. 

Token, Clyde and Jimmy stare at Craig with their ‘you’re the leader, you deal with this’ look and Craig sighs, briefly lamenting the fact that he’s managed to end up in the middle of some ridiculous situation again. He resigns himself to his role in this encounter and rolls his eyes, flipping off his friends for good measure as he steps forwards cautiously.

“Uh, hi,” he says awkwardly and the alien flinches slightly as he sticks his hand out in front of him for a handshake.

Now that he’s slightly closer, Craig can pick up more of the little details. For one thing, the alien appears to be male, if alien races even have different biological sexes that is. With the alien bearing his chest, it’s evident that are no boobs and - oddly enough - no belly button to speak of though, so there’s that. He also notices that the alien is pretty short, they just about reach the top of Craig’s shoulder and are about a hair taller than Clyde, who’s the shortest in the group. Their ears end in elf-like points and their eyes are a vibrant green that is clearly not human and almost matches the colour of their markings. He ignores the voice in his head that supplies the word ‘cute’ to describe them and goes back to focusing on the current situation. 

The alien stares at Craig’s outstretched hand with a look of deep confusion and Craig withdraws it, realising that a handshake probably isn’t going to happen.

“I’m Craig Tucker and these assholes are my friends,” he points out, speaking slowly. “We come in peace.”

“I think the aliens are supposed to say that part,” Clyde points out and Craig briefly shoots a look at him over his shoulder that says ‘see if you can do any better’ before continuing.

“We saw your ship crash and we came to see what happened,” he explains, gesturing towards the crash. The alien follows his movement and lets out a stressed sound when his gaze settles on what’s left of his ship.

Before anything else can be said the alien launches into a panicked rant, a language that the boys have never heard before spilling out of his lips as he gestures frantically, his eyes wide and his markings glowing brighter. The other three boys move closer as they observe the alien’s behaviour.

“What did you do?” Token queries in an accusatory tone.

“I think you broke it,” Clyde mutters beside him.

“You were the ones who wanted me to do the talking,” Craig shrugs. 

“Well, w-what do we do now?” Jimmy questions.

“I don’t know,” Craig replies.

“We can’t just walk away and leave an alien in the middle of the woods, can we? I mean we all saw that gun, what if it goes on a human killing spree?” Clyde inquires.

“We could have been in Token’s living room right now watching shitty movies, but you guys just had to see this.”

“Oh shut the fuck up Craig!” Clyde retorts. “You secretly wanted to know what it was just as much as the rest of us so don’t start with that bullshit.”

“Oh yeah sure because I was soooo enthusiastic about this entire thing,” Craig argues.

“Guys!” Token snaps. “Now is not the time for this,” he reminds them, gesturing at the scene in front of them. “Craig can’t you just, I don’t know, calm them down or something?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to do that?” Craig answers. “They don’t even speak English.”

“I don’t know, just think of something.”

“Why me?” he asks. 

“Because you’re the fucking nerd who watches space films and documentaries and you have the most relaxed demeanor,” Token explains. “Now do something,” he instructs, nudging Craig forwards.

Craig looks back at the others, before turning to face the alien again. He feels so out of his depth. He doesn’t even know how to interact with other humans on the best of days, let alone an alien in the middle of a break down. “Hey, calm down,” he says softly as he places his hand on the alien’s shoulder, briefly taking note of how warm they are despite their general lack of clothing. 

The alien immediately freezes and stops talking as their skin makes contact. Their eyes are wide and their teeth dig into their bottom lip as they stare at the human in front of him. Craig tries his best to look calm and he must pull it off somehow because he feels the alien’s shoulders relax and sees the harsh glow of his markings dull as he lets out a deep breath. The alien starts speaking again, only to stop when they see the blank looks on their audience’s faces and it finally seems to click that they don’t understand.

Their features scrunch up in frustration as they assess the group’s expressions and Craig’s brain briefly supplies him with the thought that the way their nose wrinkles is adorable before he bottles that shit up never to be seen again. The boys can practically see the light bulb flash above the alien’s head when they come to some sort of realisation, or maybe that was just their markings briefly lighting up before returning to their natural glow. Without another word the alien steps forward slightly, invading Craig’s personal space.

Clyde, Token and Jimmy take a step back, but Craig stays rooted to the spot. He stands transfixed as the alien stares at him, unable to back away or look anywhere else. For a moment he wonders if the alien is using some kind of mind control technique, but deep down he knows that he’s just too fascinated by them to register anything else. Plus, for some reason, he knows they aren’t going to hurt him so he sees no harm in staying put and seeing what happens.

Sure, Craig had just seen them lift a tree about ten times their size and toss it aside like it was nothing, so they could probably destroy him if they wanted to. Something tells Craig he isn’t in any danger though and Craig’s instincts are usually on his side, so he decides to trust them.

He’s snaps out of his trance when he feels two warm hands gently settle on the sides of his face and realises that the alien is suddenly way closer to him than he usually allows people to get. The blond stares at Craig intently and Craig’s gaze involuntarily flits to their lips before settling on the piercing green of their eyes again.

“What are you-” is all he gets a chance to say before he’s yanked down to the other’s height and suddenly finds his forehead pressed against another.

Almost immediately he can feel energy buzzing between them, lighting up every nerve in his body as he stares at the alien’s long eyelashes and tries to remember how to breathe. “Um,” he mumbles, awkwardly. “What’s-”

“Shhhh!” the alien silences him, placing a finger against his lips.

“Ok,” Craig mumbles against the digit, trying not to go cross eyed as he glances down at the alien’s hand. Satisfied with his answer, the alien moves their hand back to the side of Craig’s face and the strange sensation continues. 

Considering how strong they are, their hold on Craig is pretty damn gentle, their hands resting softly against his skin and their thumbs occasionally brushing against him. It’s oddly soothing and reassuring and Craig knows that it’s the alien’s way of practically screaming ‘I am not a threat!’, but it feels oddly intimate and Craig doesn’t quite know how to react to that. He’s never even been this close to another person before, let alone a person from a different planet who he was pretty sure did not identify as female. Though he has had some thoughts about boys in the past that he’d rather not dwell on.

He forgets the others are even there to witness this until he hears their voices. He’s pretty sure it’s Token who blurts out an “Oh my God”, followed by a mumble from Clyde that sounds suspiciously like “That’s actually kind of cute”. One of them says something about having to get a picture of this and Craig suddenly wonders how much longer this is gonna take and wishes the ground would swallow him up.

When the hands finally leave his face, he quickly takes a step back, putting some much needed distance between him and the extra terrestrial. He’s about to ask what all that was about when the alien opens his eyes and he’s suddenly rendered speechless again, noticing that they’re now a much more normal shade of green. The markings are quickly fading too, not disappearing completely, but no longer giving off light either. If it wasn’t for the glow of the spaceship behind them, they’d be in darkness again now.

“H-hello, I’m T-Tweek,” the alien says shakily. “You can understandmenow, right?” 

The boys nod in confirmation and Tweek breathes a sigh of relief. His voice is a little strange, high pitched and shaky as it attempts to navigate the English language for the first time, and some if his words string together, but they are able to make out what he’s saying at least. With the ice finally broken, the others take a few steps closer, making it feel more like they were having a friendly conversation than an interrogation. 

Clyde speaks up, “So like are you a boy or…?” he questions tactlessly. Token elbows him and he mutters a quick “what the fuck was that for?” as he rubs his arm.

“W-well, my planet doesn’t really have names for that shit, but I guess so yeah,” Tweek responds. 

The boys share a look upon hearing the curse word come out of his mouth so casually, but decide not to acknowledge it. “How old are you?” Jimmy asks.

“In Earth years?…” Tweek pauses to calculate, “...Fuck, I’d say a-about seventeen or eighteen years.”

The boys share another look. “If you don’t mind me asking,” Token begins tentatively, “What was that you just did?”

“Oh, u-um,” Tweek hesitates, his markings briefly lighting up a little in what they assumed was similar to a blush before returning to their previous state. “I was just borrowing some thoughts and memories s-so I could learn your language and what looks - um - more normaltoyou,” he clarifies. “I’m sorry for not asking first, b-but I didn’t r-really have much of a fucking choice.” 

“It’s cool,” Craig reassures him, trying to ignore the pointed looks he can practically feel the other boys giving him. “What?” he asks over his shoulder as it finally gets too obvious for him to ignore.

“Humanity makes contact with an actual alien lifeform and the first thing it learns from us is swearing,” Token criticizes. “Well done Craig.”

Craig just shrugs. “You chose me to be the spokesperson,” he points out. “Besides he probably would have picked it up eventually anyway.”

“Oh Jesus!” Tweek exclaims. “Did I say something wrong?! Oh God I messed up already didn’t I?”

“Calm down,” Craig instructs again and Tweek immediately relaxes a little. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yeah, you’re good,” Clyde agrees. “Just don’t say ‘shit’ or ‘fuck’ in front of anyone else unless you’re angry or surprised.”

“Oh, are they bad words?” Tweek inquires, genuinely curious. “I wasn’t sure what they meant, b-but I heard them a lot so I assumed they were just slang.”

“K-kind of,” Jimmy answers, all of them choosing to ignore Clyde’s whisper of ‘cute’.

“Some people use them like slang, but you shouldn’t say them to people in a higher position of authority than you or in a formal situation because it’s not polite,” Token clarifies.

“Ok, I get it now,” Tweek nods, “and what about this gesture?” he asks, casually flipping a middle finger up at them.

Craig’s eyebrows shoot up and Clyde loses it, practically cackling in the background. As soon as Clyde breaks, Jimmy is also laughing and soon Token is the only one who seems to be holding it together as Craig fails to hold back a snort. 

“Oh my God, Craig!” Token says, unsuccessful in keeping up an annoyed tone as amusement creeps into his voice. “You taught alien life how to flip people off.” He fights back his own laughter at how absurd this whole predicament was before addressing the bewildered alien, who’s looking between his still raised middle finger and the laughing boys with a puzzled expression. “That’s a rude gesture, Tweek,” he explains.

Tweek’s features light up with recognition and he quickly drops the gesture. “Oh, we actually h-have something like that where I’m from,” he says, the corners of his mouth twitching into a grin. “It goes more like this though,” he explains before raising his arms in a different kind of gesture.

“No fucking way!” Clyde gasps, his eyes lighting up as he recognises the pose, and the rest of the boys suppress a groan. “Dabbing is a rude gesture on your planet?! This is incredible! I wanna live there! Can you please take me with you?” he begs, attempting a pout, but looking more weird than cute.

“I’m not s-sure if you’d be able to breathe on my planet…” he answers hesitantly. Then his eyes glaze over slightly as he seems to remember something. “Actually I-I’m not sure if there’s anything left of it to go back to. They kind of got themselves into a war they c-couldn’t handle. I-I haven’t really been there in a-about two years now. I’ve been hopping from planet to planet f-finding and selling random artifacts, but I won’t be getting back out there anytime soon by the looks of it.”

The mood suddenly dampens as the boys take in the seriousness of Tweek’s situation and nobody is really sure what to say. Craig suddenly feels the urge to comfort the alien boy, but he’s not quite sure how to do it. When he tries to talk to people, his words don’t always come out the way he wants them to, so instead he places a hand on Tweek’s arm again like he did earlier and hopes that’s enough. Tweek gives him a slightly sombre smile in return having realised his intentions.

“I’m so sorry, Tweek,” Token says.

“Yeah, that must have been rough,” Clyde adds sympathetically.

“It’s ok,” Tweek reassures them. “It w-was a really fucking shit planet anyway,” he admits with a halfhearted laugh. “I actually r-ran away before the war even started because I was f-fed up of being scared for my life all the time. Picked up some good fighting techniques and survival instincts though so it w-wasn’t all bad I guess.”

“You’re kind of sharing a lot of personal information with a group of strangers right now, so your survival instincts can’t be that good,” Craig mentions.

Tweek lets out a snort at that and Craig both wonders what’s so funny and why this boy has to be so cute. “I could quite easily kill all of you in seconds if I wanted to and you’re all still here so who really has the bad survival instincts here?” 

Tweek looks smug for all of two seconds before what he said sinks in and panic seeps into his expression. “Ah! I d-don’t know why I s-said that! D-don’t leave yet! I’m n-not actually going to hurt any of you!” He tugs at his hair with his right hand, berating himself in his own language under his breath.

“Chill, I know you’re not,” Craig replies without a shadow of doubt and Tweek is momentarily stunned, looking at him as if he doesn’t know how to respond. It’s almost as if he was expecting a way more severe reaction.

“H-how do you know?” he inquires, still quite perplexed by the tall, slightly awkward human boy.

“Because you don’t want to,” Craig shrugs as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world. Tweek looks as if he’s about to demand some further explanation than just that when a gasp draws their attention back to the others. Craig almost has to fight back a blush at the fact that he’d been too focused on the blond to remember other people were there, but the others seem too preoccupied with staring at Tweek’s right side to notice.

“Hey T-Tweek, I think you’re b-bleeding,” Jimmy points out.

Tweek turns slightly to asses the damage raising his arm to reveal a large gash down his side. “Oh sh-shit!” he hisses, pressing his left hand to the wound. Craig’s arm drops with the movement and he fights back the burning sensation in his face again upon realising that he hadn’t stopped touching the other boy. 

“I thought I got all of my injuries, but I must have missed this one,” he explains with the kind of tone someone would use when forgetting to wash a plate at a family diner and not forgetting about a cut that looked like it could warrant an emergency room visit. “It’s no big deal though I can fix it.”

For a second it looks like Tweek’s markings are lighting up again, but the boys soon realise that the glowing is concentrated to the arm that’s hovering over his injury. The boys can do nothing but watch in astonishment as the wound slowly closes up. Once Tweek’s satisfied with the repair, his arm stops glowing and he presses his hand down against the area to check for pain, relaxing once again when he finds none.

He catches the others staring at him and immediately tenses. “What? Have you never seen someone heal themselves before?” he questions defensively.

“Holy sh-shit,” Jimmy blurts out.

“Uh, no Tweek. Humans don’t do that,” Clyde informs him.

“They don’t?” he echoes. “Then what do they do if they get in an accident?”

“They go to a place where a specialist can fix their injuries for them.”

“But that must take forever,” Tweek muses. “Humans are s-so weird, I only crash landed on this planet like an hour ago and already I’ve been m-more confused by you than any other alien race I’ve encountered.”

“Speaking of crash landing,” Token says, “How did that happen?”

“I was being chased because I kind of took something that doesn’t belong to me and I hit an asteroid. Next thing I know, my ship is m-malfunctioning and I’m hurtling towards some planet I’ve never seen before. I thought it was unoccupied because all I c-couldn’t hear anything and all I could see were trees and I was starting to panic because I didn’t know if I’d be able to find the parts to fix it and I thought I’d be stuck here by myself forever, but then you guys turned up and now here we are.”

“When you say you took something that doesn’t belong to you, is it a something that dangerous people are going to come looking for?”

“Well, n-not really because the only people who knew I had it crashed into a bigger asteroid and exploded…” Tweek explains, “...but it is a something that could potentially be devastating if it fell into the wrong hands.”

“How devastating?” Craig questions, having a feeling that he doesn’t really want to know the answer.

“Like turning the entire population into obedient zombies who only listen to the person who has it or blowing up any planet you want with a single thought devastating,” Tweek answers. “I was a-actually hired to destroy it, but I can’t do that here because it would probably take your planet out with it.”

The boys glance at each other and it’s pretty obvious they’re all thinking of the same specific group of assholes. Maybe it was a good thing they were the ones who went looking for the adventure this time after all.

“Tweek, where is it now?” Token asks urgently.

“It’s still in the ship,” he replies, looking a little uncertain about whether he should be telling them. “Why?”

“Go get it, bring it back here and don’t let it out of your sight, ok?”

Tweek nods, a determined look on his face. He sprints back towards his ship and the boys see him carefully reach through the shattered windscreen, pulling out what looks like some kind of brief case. Craig looks at the trees behind him as Tweek walks back with the case, holding it carefully in his grasp. He momentarily feels as if they’re being watched, but brushes it off, telling himself that the woods are full of animals and it’s probably just a deer or something.

“Got it!” Tweek announces.

“Ok, you’re coming with us and staying at Craig’s house until we can help you fix that spaceship.”

Craig immediately grabs Token and turns them away from the rest of the group. “My house? wh-”

“Craig, you know more about space than us,” Token reminds him in a hushed tone. “Besides he seems to trust you the most.”

“Yeah space, not actual aliens,” Craig argues. “How the fuck are my parents gonna react when they see some half naked, tattooed, blond weirdo stood in their living room?” He realises his volume went up towards the end of that and that Tweek probably has heightened alien senses and heard anyway. “No offence,” he assures him before turning back to Token.

“None taken,” Tweek mumbles.

“You’re still staying at my house for the weekend so we’ll think of something,” Token replies. “We’ll tell them he’s part of a foreign exchange programme or something.”

“Yeah because my mom is totally gonna buy that. She can smell bullshit from a hundred miles away.”

“If it helps, I can g-give people false memories so that they’ll believe things easier,” Tweek chimes in, and Craig and Token turn back to face the group, realising that trying to have a private conversation is pointless.

“Of course you can,” Craig says exasperatedly. “Why am I not surprised?”

“There you go. Problem solved,” Token offers.

Craig takes one look at the hopeful, expectant faces surrounding him and realises he can’t win. “Fine,” he sighs, admitting defeat. 

“It’ll be fun Craig,” Clyde insists. “Just think of it as having a new, supercool roommate from outer space.”

“Sure,” Craig responds in a resigned tone. “Let’s just go.”

“Lead the way Token!” Clyde commands and Token rolls his eyes before switching the flashlight back on and beginning to lead the group back into the woods.

Tweek takes one look at the pathetic amount of light being given off by the flashlight and starts doing his glowing thing again causing Token to put the flashlight away with a mumble of, “That works too I guess.” 

Craig stares at his soon to be roommate, deep in thought. On one hand, he hates change, being dragged into potentially dangerous situations and interacting with people for too long. On the other hand, this boy kind of intrigues him and not just because he’s from a different planet, although that did peak his curiosity. 

Craig’s more intrigued by the fact that he feels more comfortable around this alien in a short space of time than he does around most people and the fact that he seems to understand how Craig means the things he says and does, which is something even his own family can’t pick up on sometimes. That last part might have been due to the fact that Tweek had poked around in his memories more than anything though.

It doesn’t help that the boy is weirdly attractive too, although Craig was trying his best to ignore that part. He snaps out of his thoughts when he hears a sudden noise behind him and pauses to look back. Upon seeing nothing, he once again reasons that it must have just been an animal of some kind, but raises his middle finger in that direction anyway for good measure before catching up to the group again. Tweek looks at him and smiles warmly as he rejoins the group and he realises in that moment that he’s completely fucked.

How does he keep ending up in these situations?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> I tried writing in a different tense this time and I'm not sure how I feel about it to be honest, but it was interesting to try it out. I'm not sure if I'll revisit this AU at the moment. 
> 
> I definitely won't right now because I already have too much going on, but I've kind of left it open to more chapters just in case I decide to continue it or I might add more one shots and make it like a series once I have more chapters of my other stories finished because I did enjoy writing it. It's a little difficult to write some of the characters though because I don't feel like I know enough about them.
> 
> Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to update one of my other stories soon if I don't drown under a pile of work.


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